Because you let me

You let me walk all over you. And you still love me.

I know I can say anything I want without fear of losing you, do anything I feel like and still have you understand, be anything I want to be and you'll still support me. Because you let me be myself.

When I'm down in the dumps and vent all my frustration on you.....you let me. Because you understand. You listen to all my rants, my crazy ideas, my impossible dreams, my unreachable goals, my endless aspirations. And you teach me to aim higher. You make me believe in myself. And you never give up hope. Never.

And through all my crazy changes, from changing names to careers to geographic locations, you've given me unwavering support. Without questioning me. Even once.

You keep on giving. Trust, love, understanding. Unconditionally.
And I keep on taking. Everything. For granted.
And I keep coming back for more.


I never thank you enough........ To my parents with gratitude, M

Down on my knees

I am not a very religious person. That does not mean that I am an atheist. Or even agnostic. (Although sometimes I wish that we could get rid of religion altogether from this world to free ourselves of all the political unrest that is being caused by religious sentiments). It just means I am not a very religious person. I do not go to the temple on the first weekend every month. I do not quote shloks from the Gita to prove a point. I do not burst into enthusiastic Om Jai Jagadish Hare at social gatherings. I do not see the point of fighting and killing each other over religion. I do not see why we need to break down mosques to build a temple, or why we have to burn people because they are Christians, or why we have to set fire to a train because it is stashed with Hindus, or destroy entire populations because they practice a different faith.

Yet sometimes I just go down on my knees and pray like crazy.

Usually it is when I feel very helpless and scared. When I truly believe I need a miracle, some kind of divine intervention to make things right in my life.

I pray.

Yipee!

I just realized that after a long time I am getting to see the sun come up when I leave my house in the morning. And if I'm lucky I may even catch the last rays of daylight when I get back home.

Three cheers for long summer days that are just around the corner!

Is Ignorance bliss?

There's this strange thing with a lot of Indian families that I know. They refuse to talk about disease and illness.

I do not mean the everyday cough and cold and associated silly things. That they love to discuss. Anytime you ask someone how they're doing they will launch a huge monologue about how sick they've been and how weak they feel and how distressful everything around them is. You ask any Bengali "kemon achhen" (how are you) and you get an "aar bolben na....." (don't even begin to ask....). But this post is about a different kind of illness. You know something major. Like heart disease or cancer. Especially cancer. Somehow the thought of something really fatal afflicting them seems unpalatable and unacceptable to most Indian families. So they just block the thought. They refuse to find out more and they refuse to talk about it. Take the example of RD, a distant uncle of ours. He started losing weight and had this terrible pain in his tummy for sometime before he went to see the doctor. After a lot of investigations, labs and ultrasounds and CT scans he was diagnosed with cancer. Now everytime I'd enquire about what the specific diagnosis was, everyone in RD's family would just clamp up. It was like this real secret hush-hush thing that people refused to talk about. I understand that the family goes into denial and that it is hard to accept something like this. But guys, there are treatment options and the better informed you are, the better your chances of finding a way out. To cut a long story short, RD pased away last year with very little treatment done to alleviate his condition and us still not knowing what he had been diagnosed with. Was it his liver, pancreas, stomach, colon? And I try telling everyone that it is better to know because then you are better prepared for what may be in store. For example there are genes that predispose you to a certain kind of cancer. I know that recognizing that I am genetically predisposed for a particlar kind of cancer will not stop me from getting the disease, but it can save my life. I can have regular check ups to catch it sooner and get it out while it might not be too late to do anything.

I know people who refuse to go see a doctor for annual check ups for the fear of finding out some hidden disease. They tell me, they'd rather not know. Is this crazy or what? Why are people so scared of finding the truth about their bodies? Wouldn't you rather know early and be able to treat it than be diagnosed with something fatal much later when there is no going back? And why are people so secretive about their illness. Wouldn't you want your family to know that you have a particular disease so that they can get a genetic screen done to check out if they are at a higher risk of getting the same? I guess which is why there are still people in India suffering and dying from diseases that could have been diagnosed and treated early. I had an uncle in his forties who died from malignant malaria, a cousin who was in her teens who died from hepatitis B, an aunt in her fifties who had ovarian cancer and an uncle in his fifties who died of some mysterious cancer of the abdomen that we have no clue whatsoever. All people I knew and cared about. All of them died prematurely. And all these deaths could have been prevented, had they been diagnosed and treated a little early.

And yet, people still turn a blind eye to early diagnosis and prevention. They live their lives pretending that nothing bad could ever happen to them. And refusing to have an annual check up done for the fear of being diagnosed with some disease that they were unaware of. I find that frustrating.

Ignorance is bliss? Not always. Definitely not always.

You made my day

To the kid who SO made my day...........

Sometime last evening on reaching home after a long day at work.

The front doorbell rings and I go to check who it is.

Boy (in his teens) selling charity tickets for wheelchair bound neighborhood kids: Could you get me either of your parents to talk to?

Me standing there a little taken aback, thinking....my parents?....O my God he thinks I'm underage and he needs to talk to an adult....O MY GOD he thinks I'm UNDERAGE......O MY GOD......I can still pull it off.....I still look young......My God I look like a teenager......O MY GOD!!!!!

Okay that entire piece of conversation was in my head and took a fraction of a second.

Me giving my bestest and friendliest smile: I don't have my parents here. You can talk to me. I live here.

Boy a little taken aback and totally embarrassed: I'm sorry. You look so young!

Me dancing around (in my head ofcourse) with joy: No problem. What can I do for you?

I still can't stop smiling.

I feel good.

Kid, you made my day!

National Wear Red Day

Okay so I'm wearing my red sweater to work today to show my support for women's heart disease awareness.

February 3, 2006 is National Wear Red Day.

Granted I had no clue that such a day existed until yesterday. Also granted that I detest the countless made-up "days" that people come up with (you know "sweetest day" and the likes). But when I read about wearing red to promote awareness of risk factors for heart disease and taking action to lower it I decided to lend my support to the cause. Did you know that heart disease is the number one killer of women, far more than the number that die from breast cancer?

We CAN make a difference. I read that Americans can lower their risk of heart disease by as much as 82 percent by leading a healthy lifestyle, by controlling risk factors like high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity, smoking and physical inactivity.

And in other news......today is Saraswati Pujo. Saraswati, the Goddess of knowledge. Still remember the early morning Pujo at home, putting all my school text books at the feet of the Goddess and praying Joyo Joyo Debi, the garlands of marigold, the proshad, eating kul, and most of all, not having to study the whole day.

That was then. This is now.

Ma.... bidye dao.....budhi dao....

Tagged.....(read only if you are really bored)

Finally got around to responding to the tag by True Blue Guy. Although I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would be remotely interested in reading my list. Nevertheless..........

My perfect lover is male and 8 things that I like about him are:

1. Intelligent and smart
2. Adventurous with a passion for living
3. Witty with a sense of humor
4. Sensitive and thoughtful
5. Honest and straightforward
6. Romantic
7. Respect and value human beings
8. Love and care for all animals (esp. homeless and unwanted ones)

Rules

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.


Post script

Did my part but am refraining from tagging anyone else. If someone reads this and wishes to respond to the tag he/ she is most welcome. Would love to know about your dream man/ woman and what your heart so desires.