Monday, March 19, 2007

Smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone.

I think grief is a very private emotion. Unlike most other basic human emotions which find comfort in expression. Like joy. Or happiness. Or good cheer. Which you can share. Spread around like some magical shimmering fairy light. Or say anger. And hatred. You let it out. Express your self and feel relieved. And then there is love. Which always needs to be expressed and shared for it to grow and bear fruit.

But grief is in a different league altogether. Because it cannot be shared. Or expressed. Or understood by anyone else. And you live it everyday. Through broken dreams and faltering faith. Through unshed tears and dying hope. And yet, I don't want your pity. Or words of comfort saying it will be alright. Which is why I want to be left alone in my grief.

Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.

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26 Comments:

Blogger The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

:( yes, indeed. nobody can ever fully understand another's grief.
i will spare you any platitudes. But i wish you peace and strength.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Just Mohit said...

Wishing for you the strength to battle your demons, and for the smile to return...soon!

11:09 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

well... in my grief i have no idea what to say to let the other person know how i feel....so i just cry.
Thats the best way.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Cacophoenix said...

The best loan, they say, is a sympathetic ear. The ear also understands silence and the words swept away. The ear also hope that with faith, strength and all the love you can find, it may one day hear you smile again.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Point 5 said...

You could not have said it better in this terse post. Through some recent personal experiences, I cannot agree more with you. Words at times of grief are often cliched phrases and pacifies the speaker more than the person to whom it's spoken.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Shirsha said...

I can't help it, but am curious abt your grief... and I haven't trod upon your dreams, I just leapt over it, is that alright!?
Oh, come on, plz do smile... :)

1:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Things take a course of their own and sometimes you can do nothing about it. All you are left with is hurt, grief and a feeling of powerlessness. Nothing anybody can say can ever make it alright. But you still go about your day and it is the resilience that sees you through. The more you get hit, the more resilient you become, sometimes surprising yourself. I was told by someone that acceptance is the key to survival through troubled times and no matter how much I resented it first, I am slowly leaning towards it. Sometimes "Serenity Prayer" helps.

8:38 AM  
Blogger GhostOfTomJoad said...

Be well and take care.

9:07 AM  
Anonymous The Pilgrim said...

You are right :- Grief is in a different league, and it cannot be shared or expressed. You know why?

Grief means you feel guilt about a myraid of things that has led you to this point. These maybe related or unrelated. It is what you believe you could have changed so as to not ever come to grieve. And you grieve of what you could have done differently so as to not have broken dreams.

It also means somewhere, somehow you have broken promises or in the present grief you have cannot explain to the other person the promises you have given cannot be fulfilled.

Have been reading your blogs for sometime. Thought for the first time I will write some stuff. Hope I havent treaded on thin ice here.

9:39 PM  
Blogger sapna said...

sending you much love

10:09 PM  
Blogger Pallavi said...

well dont share it here.. but do share with some close people in ur life. it wont go but will show u way ahead.

11:18 PM  
Blogger Terri said...

M, it's not perverse curiosity but genuine concern that prompts some of us to ask what happened.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous Celia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:13 PM  
Anonymous medha said...

I so agree with you on this one! :)
No wonder i have just been keeping to myself for the past many months.

:)

10:44 PM  
Anonymous vuttaa said...

holy hell!

welcome to the world of spammers; SPAM eneche BALM! seems that they too want to eat a pie out of the grief world! bizzzness that is.. :)

but jokes apart, M, let the sun shine upon on your blog again - too dark everyWhere!

2:58 AM  
Blogger Seashells said...

Why would you let anybody tread on YOUR dreams ??? Not long before someone runs rampant. There's as much a devil in each one of us as there is God. That's what makes us all human.

On a different note, i have to apologize to you. I accidentally "flagged" your blog for objectionable content. I was switching tabs on my browser when i accidentally clicked "flag blog" on the blogger tool bar. I'm really really SORRY.

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Celia said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:14 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ all
I'll refrain from thanking each one of you separately because it would appear repetitious and I want to spare you that. This post was written in an attempt to get certain things out of my system. And as one of you mentioned "acceptance is the key to survival through troubled times". I'm trying. Thanks!

11:26 AM  
Blogger Eroteme said...

For some strange reason, I remember commenting on this one. I don't suppose that one of the deleted ones would be mine! :-)

I totally disagree with grief being best relished in solitude. Grief like any emotion can be shared. You wouldn't tell your maid servant about the bash last night, but you would tell your best friend who wasn't there and laugh with him/her. I hope you don't get angry on just about everyone. Most often people tend to get angry with people who don't matter or only with those who matter (and I would fall in there). So be it with grief...

I suppose a person does share nearly everything that goes inside her. People share/express grief differently. Some drink it away, some sulk it down the drain, some throw tantrums and some, well, write! :-)

Gham-e-dard ki sihayee aur patla kar dijiye
Mehendi samajhkar aapas mein qatlah kar dijiye

[Please dilute the dark ink of painful sorrow.
Treat it like henna and let us divide it amongst us [on our hands]]

:-)

9:59 PM  
Blogger Suki said...

Don't want to talk about it, but it's good to know someone is just a bit braver than me.
Just want to let you know I respect you.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Luca said...

I want to say you that you're really a beautyful girl, and I wish for you the best thing's in you're life, first of all a person who can understand and take care of you.

Luca, Pavia, Lombardy, Italy, this fuckin' rotating rock

just a kiss

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Essentially thats the way I aswell would handle it, but to be honest me and you as well should know better. Grief needs to be expressed & shared (with REAL close friends wich for me would be the same as rightfully chosen family) and worked with, so it wont destroy one, from the inside.

eXistenZialist

1:20 AM  
Blogger Hithen said...

I don't know.. but you should probably check the whole poem to understand the sense of that quote...

One of my personal favourites..

Solitude by Ella Wheeler Wilcox:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

grief?!!!? haha....r u serious..........f*** u.....b*****

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Reggie said...

grief...
an emotion that i can only describe as....vicious....
the kind of person you determines how strongly you will feel on certain things...
how you want to make someone happy...
be what everyone wants, make them happy....be happy...
thats what i want.....
hard....and sad....for a self-concious arrogant me...
i want to love and be loved like no-one else can....the feelings i gather force me to say this.....in loneliness i find peace....like a small boy...all alone...all around me is emptiness...my feelings for myself....i want to be what everyone wants....yet....for my selfish needs only....its sad...and pathetic...to want to be someone you're not....and be stuck with emotions, that can only cause u....so much hate

11:58 AM  
Blogger dimstar said...

it very personal expression..everybody can feel sorry for you...but the expression which u have in ur heart cannot be felt by other..may they can stay with you..may they have gone through or going through the grief...certainly cannot share a penny of...it... its burden you have to carry till u die..

1:09 AM  

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