Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Time in a Bottle

Disclaimer: This is a very soppy kind of post. So if you're not in the mood you'd be advised to skip it.

You've never been the one for overtly romantic gestures and whispering sweet nothings, yet you've never given me any reason to complain. We've never dated the way most people do, held hands under a table in the restaurant, snuggled in a dark movie theatre oblivious to what was going on screen, dedicated romantic songs to each other on a radio show, had the chocolate-flowers-Valentine's day card kind of romance. And yet, it still filled my heart. And my life. And you've taken me by the hand and walked me through life. Through all these years. And here we are, standing here, remembering the past with fondness and looking at the future wondering what it has in store.

And do you remember those heady days when we'd steal furtive glances across a crowded room and smile when we'd catch each other's eye? Or when we'd wait hours for that one phone call, unable to get anything else done? And write page after page of love-laced letters trying to express what was in the heart. And held hands. And loved. And felt like this was the most perfect thing in the world. And that the world was such a perfect place to live in.

That was then. And this is now.

And we've grown and matured with time. With years of being together and understanding each other. And now we know that the world is not such a perfect place. And that each day is more like a struggle. To get through. To survive and to live. And love is not about holding hands and sweet love letters. And days are more about bills and chores and getting things done. And they are a stream of fixing leaky sinks, working the yard, groceries and laundry and cleaning the house. And quality time is spent doing mundane things. And I have wondered if reality and married life can shove romance out of the window.

But then I just realized something. Love endures. Even in the everyday kind of life. In the morning cup of coffee. In hurried telephone conversations. Over paying the bills and rushing through the grocery store. Through sharing joy and wiping tears. In failures and venting frustration. In a hug. A smile. In our ordinary everyday life. And I realize it now more than anything because you are gone. And there's no joy in living the everyday kind of life. The coffee sits on the kitchen counter, untouched. Bills lay around, unpaid. Unwashed laundry piles up. The house needs cleaning. The bed needs to be made. Food needs to be cooked. And eaten. Life needs to be lived.

I miss the warmth of our mundane existence. I miss having you around.

"If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day
Like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you" *

*
Jim Croce 'Time in a Bottle'

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20 Comments:

Blogger sapna said...

Awwwww... no! He's not gone :-)

8:58 AM  
Blogger Sanjay said...

Sweet post. He will be back soon and you will feel whole again. :) Hang in.

9:44 AM  
Blogger qsg said...

Lovesick, in a very evolved kind of way! I think it's beautiful how a relationship evolves! Great post, M! :)

10:00 AM  
Anonymous kk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Rohini said...

Beautifully written - you really have a way with words...

12:27 PM  
Blogger Bharath Hemachandran said...

:)

2:46 PM  
Blogger Terri said...

Awww! you made me miss my significant other. And he's only in the next room.

6:31 PM  
Blogger The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

So if you're not in the mood you'd be advised to skip it.

There's something about warnings like that that make me scroll down and devour the whole post, like I'm getting something I am not entitled to. :-)

9:08 PM  
Blogger Shirsha said...

Whoa, you made a post outta my condition!

2:26 AM  
Blogger Perspective Inc. said...

Awww!!

2:51 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

its so true. Love Endures.
its been a long time since ive seen Ed. bt i can feel his love enduring everyday.

a very true to the heart post.

3:36 AM  
Blogger Priya said...

Thought you came back together. but yeah I know the weird kinda sounds a partially empty house makes. * virtual huugss*

4:45 AM  
Blogger Ekta said...

awwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!:-)
Hope u get back soon together!

6:07 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ sapna :) and he'll be back :)
@ sanjay thanks
@ qsg "Lovesick, in a very evolved kind of way" liked that very much...thank you
@ kk thanks for the support
@ rohini just talking to myself mostly
@ bharath :)
@ terri sometimes I miss him even when he is with me in the same room....so I know what you mean.
@ tgfi like reading some banned erotica?
@ shirsha well we're in the same situation I guess. Hope you're holding up okay.
@ perspective inc. :)
@ grafxgurl well it is good to see you back and you're absolutely right.
@ priya well thank you. ki aar bolbo...
@ ekta well every passing day brings him closer to home. thanks!

8:48 AM  
Blogger Cacophoenix said...

And what about that empty spot on bed where when you turn you bumped into him. No teddy bear dressed in his t-shirt can make me smile in the middle of the night.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Dadoji said...

Good to see you are well and back even if still hurting.

3:32 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ cacophoenix tell me about it :)
@ dadoji nice seeing you here after a long time.

7:20 AM  
Blogger Ashmi said...

trust me.,....and i have to have to have to say it....this post of yours filled my eyes with tears....oh dear!!! i loved it.....when u said when u spoke about how it was.....romantic gestures are not the definite and obvious ways to show you care, so i exactly knw what you meant and how nice you felt when you "steal furtive glances across a crowded room and smiled".....the best thought being that "love endure" even in our mundane daily activities of life.....cheers M!!! :)

11:47 AM  
Blogger Aparna said...

I felt like weeping...am too scared to even feel it all over again, by reading your post.

1:14 AM  
Blogger Ricercar said...

very sweet :)

all the best bearing up with your hard times - i am sure they will pass and he who is gone will be back

7:46 AM  

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