Time in a Bottle

Disclaimer: This is a very soppy kind of post. So if you're not in the mood you'd be advised to skip it.

You've never been the one for overtly romantic gestures and whispering sweet nothings, yet you've never given me any reason to complain. We've never dated the way most people do, held hands under a table in the restaurant, snuggled in a dark movie theatre oblivious to what was going on screen, dedicated romantic songs to each other on a radio show, had the chocolate-flowers-Valentine's day card kind of romance. And yet, it still filled my heart. And my life. And you've taken me by the hand and walked me through life. Through all these years. And here we are, standing here, remembering the past with fondness and looking at the future wondering what it has in store.

And do you remember those heady days when we'd steal furtive glances across a crowded room and smile when we'd catch each other's eye? Or when we'd wait hours for that one phone call, unable to get anything else done? And write page after page of love-laced letters trying to express what was in the heart. And held hands. And loved. And felt like this was the most perfect thing in the world. And that the world was such a perfect place to live in.

That was then. And this is now.

And we've grown and matured with time. With years of being together and understanding each other. And now we know that the world is not such a perfect place. And that each day is more like a struggle. To get through. To survive and to live. And love is not about holding hands and sweet love letters. And days are more about bills and chores and getting things done. And they are a stream of fixing leaky sinks, working the yard, groceries and laundry and cleaning the house. And quality time is spent doing mundane things. And I have wondered if reality and married life can shove romance out of the window.

But then I just realized something. Love endures. Even in the everyday kind of life. In the morning cup of coffee. In hurried telephone conversations. Over paying the bills and rushing through the grocery store. Through sharing joy and wiping tears. In failures and venting frustration. In a hug. A smile. In our ordinary everyday life. And I realize it now more than anything because you are gone. And there's no joy in living the everyday kind of life. The coffee sits on the kitchen counter, untouched. Bills lay around, unpaid. Unwashed laundry piles up. The house needs cleaning. The bed needs to be made. Food needs to be cooked. And eaten. Life needs to be lived.

I miss the warmth of our mundane existence. I miss having you around.

"If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day
Like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you" *

* Jim Croce 'Time in a Bottle'