Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Crazy little thing called love

You know you've been married for a while when.....

  • you meet your husband after a week and you notice lipstick on his collar. And you can joke about it.
  • you're having a romantic dinner and your husband is checking out other girls. And you are helping him do it.
  • you find it highly amusing when you see someone being overly affectionate in public with his spouse. And you assume it is not his wife.
  • you tell him to start using Rogaine and he tells you to buy some anti-wrinkle cream.
  • he forgets your anniversary. And you still forgive him.
  • he goes to the night club with a "hot" girl from work and you're not worried.
  • you don't rush to do your hair and put on make up just before he gets home but greet him in your PJs and oil in your hair.
  • he no longer finds your burnt dinners 'different but delicious'.
  • and when his idea of a romantic dinner is take-out chinese, you don't sulk simply because you are glad that you did not have to cook for that one night. Or do the dishes for that matter.

Marriage.

It changes you in more ways than you can imagine.

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57 Comments:

Blogger Sandeepa said...

Being married for a while agree with all of the above except...
"he goes to the night club...."
are you kidding, if he is married to me for that long why would he do that :)

8:46 AM  
Blogger Shirsha said...

OMG, are you me!? I did all of that over the last week...

8:52 AM  
Anonymous Just Mohit said...

I'm just gonna assume these aren't all your own experiences!
Although B is fortunate...my wife would have thrown me out for the chinese food alone, the other ones are things i don't even dream of! ;-)
"Lipstick on shirt" indeed!

9:13 AM  
Blogger Cacophoenix said...

Hilarious and so true. The freaky thing about it I was just thinking on the same lines yesterday. When my husband wrinkled his nose after gym, and said eww...and I was not offended that he didn't he didn't think I had a glow on my face after work out.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Chilla-Bong said...

Not at-all qualified to comment on these grave(puin intended) matters,let me watch what the un-dead ones speak.
ps: In case you didn't get the undead angle(even I didn't get it first time) there are three states of human life : unmarried,dead and the dreaded ones who continue to walk even after death : "The Un-Dead".

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can relate to all of the above especially the oily hair and PJs but I shall never forget him if he forgets our anniversary .

Sonal

9:35 AM  
Blogger Bharath Hemachandran said...

:)

Sounds like marriage is good deal for the guys.

Does this mean you watch less soaps and dancing shows on tv too? Can't wait for that to happen.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Seashells said...

as long as it's all good.... right ???

11:54 AM  
Blogger Kausum said...

I heard this from a friend of mine who said, that she no longer wants her husband to do shopping with her as she is irritated at his lack of disinterest and wants to shop on her own. She exclaimed with a sigh "I now actually enjoy being their alone, guess we are married for a long time."

I concur with Bharath, watching less soaps, dancing shows and Saregama programs would be be very nice or rather not touching the remote at all.
Now I can't wait to get married .. Can eat out, flirt around, take dates to night clubs ... forget birthdays and yet get gifts on mine .. WONDERFUL .. no one told me about this what happens in a long marriage ... it looks like a nice scenario to me.

12:15 PM  
Blogger jhantu said...

wonderful!! sounds very blissful, good for u, and the last line is an absolute fit for a AD which might go:
Marriage.
It changes you in more ways than you can imagine.
For everything else theres Mastercard.

12:49 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

oH my goodness!
WHAT !! you let him go to a nightclub with someone else!! :D how delightfully cool!

GAH. see if MY husband'll let me even go to a ZOO with another guy without him around!!!

hugs hugs hugs! * just because its Wednesday*

2:29 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ sandeepa the point is not why he'd do that but how you'd react if he did :)
@ shirsha may be we're twind separated at birth :)
@ mohit don't you assume a thing :)And may be you haven't been married long enough.
@ cacophoenix well the "darling you don't sweat, you glow" days are long gone. But like you say the freaky part is when we are not offended any more!
@ chilla-bong well atleast you can still take heart :)
@ sonal well with time you let everything pass :) esp if you can make him feel guilty for the rest of his life.
@ bharath well cannot vouch for everyone but does look like if you can get through the first few years things may start to look brighter :) And for the record I don't watch any soaps or dance shows. Does that help answer your question?
@ seashells it's all good I assure you.
@ kausum well not everyone tells you everything. And not everybody is as understanding :) So do shop around before you decide that marriage will allow you to "eat out, flirt around, take dates to night clubs ... forget birthdays". And it wasn't a birthday but an anniversary and trust me you will need to be married to realize the difference between the two :)
@ jhantu trust you to come up with something like that :)) But this is life. And life takes Visa :)

3:33 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ grafx trust me it wasn't coolness on my part that let me :)And how long have you been married? Less than an year....you do have a loooong way to go girl :)

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Just Mohit said...

I'm gonna assume what i'm gonna assume!
And as for the other thing, been married long enough...just ask her when you get the chance! ;-)

4:42 PM  
Anonymous Just Mohit said...

BTW, read the first award in http://greatbong.net/2006/12/12/the-greatbong-achievement-awards-2006/
Very pertinent to this post! ;-)

4:47 PM  
Blogger qsg said...

Ahem...not sure if I could let him get to the night club with a hot girl! I don't intend on sharing him at all! I am not clingy. Just territorial! ;)

Based on this, I am doubly determined to maximize PDA before it's too late! Hehehehe

4:57 PM  
Blogger Shuv said...

oh hey wow!! is that what my wife will feel like 10 yrs from now?? waiter! a time machine please!!

1:22 AM  
Blogger Rohini said...

I think you might just have scared off a few people on the edge of matrimonial cliff...

4:55 AM  
Blogger jerry said...

does it happen, naa, actually? hmmmmmmm

5:58 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ mohit LOL....and the award thingy....so you say I may have a fair chance next year? And just for the record although I recount true incidents I make them sound much nicer than they actually are :)
@ qsg to be honest with you I'm just as possessive and jealous as the next girl. The point was not about being jealous but how you build trust over the years that lets you be comfortable in situations that would have brought the roof down otherwise :)
@ shuv well like I told Kausum there are no guarantees :)
@ rohini I'm afraid I may have...
@ jerry well only time can tell. You have to wait and see what happens :)

8:08 AM  
Blogger Sanjay said...

LOL funny post. I can check off most of them except for missing the anniversary and the rogaine/wrinkle thingy.. some day that might happen too.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous p said...

When I started reading, the list appeared to be what marriage is not about. But then, I was thrown off by the title.

Marriage is not about being possesive and encroaching on personal freedoms. But it is not about taking liberties either. There is nothing in going out to lunch, dinner or whatever with coworkers. But lipstick on shirt collars and going to nightclubs with a hot girl from work is pushing it a little too far. Marriage is about where to draw the line. Marriage is about being honest and open without fear of retribution. And that is about calling burnt dinners for what it actually is - burnt. And on that same note, chinese takeout is not a romantic dinner at home, it is just a chinese take-out night just for the convenience of it.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Ghetufool said...

so it all happened with you.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Rapid I Movement said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous Born a Libran said...

One of the things about being single is I dont have anyone looking over me as I do all the above ;)

2:40 PM  
Blogger Jinguchakka said...

Very nice, each one of them. An eye opener for me. lol.
May I use this to start an email forward, ofcourse attributing this to you? ;-)

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm, m: Interesting! I've been married seven years (long enough?) and I don't agree with your list at all! (just to bring back those who are scared off the matrimonial cliff). I actually think public affection has nothing to do with length of marriage. I've seen many couples being hugely affectionate though they've been married a long long and others not bothering though they married last week. On the jealousy part, well, I would still get a little jealous if I were out of town for a week and lipstick on collar happened. Ditto for hot woman.

My own list goes a little like this:
- You gossip with his sister and don't bother to tell him.
- You remind him of his nieces' birthdays and his parent's anniversary.
- You can fight and fight and not get frazzled about whether your marriage is in trouble.
- Your schoolfriends call you but happily chat with him for an hour since he picked up the phone.
- You can go out with a him and a bunch of his friends (and he can with yours) and neither of you feels lost when someone goes on about the Baby-Gap Fantasy you had as teenagers or the specific antics of the Hindi teacher Mrs. Bhalla.
- You can complete the punchline to the Mrs. Bhalla story when he's forgotten.
- He thinks you should accompany him to meet his old friends because he doesn't know what to say to them anyway and you'll help to keep the conversation going.
- You can vaguely remember life before marriage but its fading fast.

n!

2:46 PM  
Blogger Perspective Inc. said...

Lol!Interesting..!! :)

6:11 PM  
Blogger Sam Blackburn said...

Lol!Interesting..!! :)! :)

6:14 PM  
Blogger Point 5 said...

great observation...funny too

10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:15 PM  
Blogger Priya said...

havoc cool post ;) I agree with all you say, especially the last line. I used to be pretty, young Ms Jekyll, Now I'm old Dr Hyde ;)

3:57 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

funny, i'm usually the biggest cynic around (although more sinned against than cynic) but this time i'd go with n!'s list over yours. (with the eighth anniversary coming up, and fingers crossed that i don't forget it :-p)

8:15 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ sanjay well thanks and here's hoping that none of those do actually happen.
@ p well you said it all "marriage is about where to draw the line". Exactly :)
The thing is this list up there is not really about letting one's spouse take liberties. In fact it has been a little misrepresented to make it sound a lot worse than it actually is. The point however is not what liberties one can allow but how comfortable you are with the trust and faith and love that you have in the relation. That is what makes a marriage work. And you say it is not about being possessive? Like hell it is.
@ ghetufool or so you would think :)
@ born a libran so enjoy it while it lasts :)
@ jinguchakka I only hope i haven't raised any false hopes :) And you are most welcome to forward this to anyone you want.
@ n! well thanks for stopping by and leaving such a wonderful list of things. I totally agree with most of that. Esp the last point :))
The funny thing is my list harbors on the same lines except you need to have the insight to see where it is coming from. Not everything is what it seems on a first read :) But do stop by again.
@ perspective inc. and Sam Blackburn thanks for stopping by.
@ point 5 well thanks but be forewarned too :)
@ priya well whattodo.... times change and so do we. Like they say before marriage a woman hopes that her man will change and finds out later that he doesn't and before marriage a man hopes the woman won't change and yet she does :)
@ t.r. well congratulations are in order and here's hoping that you don't forget the date :) And as for the list....the less said about it the better.

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes I wish I could understand where your posts were coming from. But you wouldn't happen to have a sister who wasn't married, would you? Would be quite interested.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Little Miss Muffet said...

I've checked out women with The Better Half while we were dating..i've been lucky to have had a secure and comfortable relationship...or maybe i was just plain stupid..lol...i do agree with a lot of the points but i would never ever forgive him if he forgot the anniversary...

12:58 PM  
Anonymous rip van winkle said...

dear M,

this has been by far the most matured outlook i've come accross regarding marriage.....

i've not experienced ALL that you have mentioned..but dont know why i've a feeling that what ever you've written will turn out to be true in anybody's life.

1:25 PM  
Blogger sapna said...

ooooh yes! full marks to this one !!

1:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL ... how true :)

- Bonatellis

6:27 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ anon well I'm sorry to disappoint, but I don't have any siblings :)
@ little miss muffet nope, not stupid. Just in love :)
@ rip van winkle you don't say so! But honestly I hope none of these ever happen to you or anyone for that matter :)
@ sapna and looks like our B's have trained us well enough, huh? :)
@ Bonatellis will you switch back from beta and get back to blogging? please?

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Minal said...

..and I thought it was just me who makes such lists.

And it does change us, completely.
It's a roller coaster ride but wouldn't ever want to get out of it.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Ratna said...

Wait till a decade and you would not even bother to post about it :)

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

true :)

K_P

5:26 PM  
Blogger sink sink socks said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:01 AM  
Blogger Bonatellis06 said...

ok :)

7:42 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ minal rollercoaster... you bet. But it's the best, huh?
@ ratna LOL...well we'll see then.
@ K_P thanks!
@ bonatellis so you're back?

8:27 AM  
Blogger Something to Say said...

really well written and very very true. This is probably the first positive look at marriage that I've read in a really long while. I was smiling as I read each one of them :)

1:42 PM  
Blogger Aparna said...

Masterpiece....thou excel yet again!!! And suddenly my marriage-humour-meter is on track again!

4:25 AM  
Blogger Aparna said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:25 AM  
Blogger ubergeek said...

Damn! And I had been hoping that the romance would last for a bit after I get married.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Tanushree said...

@p: I agree when you when you say "marriage is about where to draw the line", just that different marriages may have different lines, and so while some people can read m's list and ask "are you me" (like me), others would go "How can you let your husband go to a nightclub with a hot woman from work! *Gasp*"

11:12 PM  
Blogger Eroteme said...

Interesting! I thought that there would be other not-so-amusing indicators for the same... Came here from Sapna's blog...

9:07 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ something to say well thank you :)
@ aparna it takes one to know one :) Thanks!
@ ubergeek well you keep that flame alive and don't listen to what I say. Like I mentioned I manipulate facts :)
@ tanushree oh thank you so much for leaving this comment here. Right on girl!
@ eroteme well thank you for stopping by :)

7:52 AM  
Blogger Ashmi said...

wow simply loved this short and sweet post.....guess i can only read it and not comment much on it coz me still young to actually do so, right...may be some years dwn the line i will agree to wht u say :)......

11:06 AM  
Anonymous p said...

After reading your response to my comments, all I can say is that I was misinterpreted. No point elaborating.

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Himank said...

Well am years from being married ryt now... but sort of liked this post vry much... :)

7:44 AM  

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