Tuesday, June 06, 2006

What the devil!

In light of all the buzz about today's date and news on women who have induced labor early to avoid having a baby born today, this is probably the most unreal of them all.

"As your demon child willfully pushes and kicks, causing your lady hole to dilate to the size of a drainage pipe, keep your knees locked together at all times. "
Lady hole....WTF!

"This will give your demanding child a wonderful, early lesson that he can't always have his way. "
Life lessons even before you are born!

"The most reliable method known to Creation Science to get a mother to go instantly into labor is to jump in front of her when she least expects it and scare the dickens out of her."
That's what we do every time we get a post-dated pregnancy.

"make sure that the child is kept in a chicken cage on the hospital floor, and that there are at least two full grown hogs within four feet of the cage at all times. "
All hospitals will be christened zoos henceforth....

" the so-called "taint" (the disagreeable area between the genitals and the anus) is where demons are most likely to post messages for each other."
Why don't they just sms each other?

"Our laboratory and research center will pay $18 a pound (17 cents a pound for mixed race infants) for any child under the age of 6-months. "
Mixing races can cost you dear!

And while you are at it read the ads on the sidebar..... "accept Christ and get a free playstation 2"!

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17 Comments:

Blogger karmic_jay said...

Thanks for visitng the realm of the crazed so we don't have to. :-)
And thanks for stopping by my place.
Since it is the day of the beast n all.. on a funny note..
666 number of the beast
668 neighbor of the beast
DCLXVI roman numeral of the beast
666.000 number of the high-precision beast
1010011 binary number of the beast
$665.95 retail price of the beast
$656.66 Wal-Mart price of the beast
Phillips 666 gasoline of the beast
Route 666 way of the beast
666 F oven temperature for cooking roast beast
666K retirement plan of the beast
666 mg recommended daily requirement of beast
6.66% 6 year CD rate at First Beast Bank ($666 min. deposit)
Lotus6.66 spreadsheet of the beast
Word66.6 word processor of the beast
666i BMW of the beast
666.HG.6666 URL of the beast
IAM 666 license plate of the beast
WD-666 spray lubricant of the beast
66.6 MHz FM radio station of the beast
666 KHz AM radio station of the beast

I had a tick on me a few years ago after a outdoors trip. I had a friend who researched lyme disease. I pulled the tick off and he crushed it and had a look under the microscope. It was teeming with lyme spirochetes. I took some antibiotics as a precaution.

12:00 PM  
Blogger Kausum said...

Alas!!! I wrote my rent check today dated 06/06/06 ... I am eternally conscripted to the devil.

But think about it - Just coz I am evil doesnt mean I am bad. :D

12:39 PM  
Blogger Jinguchakka said...

Gross!

1:10 PM  
Blogger Rapid I Movement said...

Yaaay, even you said WTF!:)

1:42 PM  
Blogger Brown Magic said...

haha, this was fantasic. ahh the rampant insanity is why I quite like this country. that and people saying "ladyhole".
hehehehe

1:52 PM  
Blogger Seashells said...

Bonkers !!!

3:52 PM  
Blogger Rapid I Movement said...

Btw, that Land Over Baptist site is totally fundoo. And you really can't be serious in getting upset over what's there, can you?...the site bloody drips with sarcasm. Thanks for the link...totally awesome!

...a true Black Sabbath fan

*raises arm and clenches a devil's horns fist*

7:06 PM  
Blogger Kele Panchu said...

I wonder what Pat Roberson would say about these children born on 6/6/6. One thing is for sure, they'll all love ACDC's music.

7:15 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

id like to slap them upside the head and throw them off a cliff.


they should know that 666 is the mark of the "beast" in the book of Revelation...(and in that time...everyone is supposed to mark themselves with that number to show their allegiance to the "antichrist" or die...)
and NOT when the antichrist is supposed to be BORN on...God isnt stupid...thats like telling people........ ohh you can go commit whatever crimes you want..but before this date STOP IT ALL and BE GOOD!

9:49 PM  
Blogger Rapid I Movement said...

The Omen got released at 6:06 in the morning today...hehe:)

Grafx...lol...you know...the flatted fifth chord...supposedly the Satan's chord (Tony Iommi uses it in the title track of Black Sabbath)...the story goes that some dimwit at the church thought that it might be a good idea to bar such and other dissonances (tritones and the like) from gospel music just becoz he/them din like the sound...so people just got used to not hearing these sounds...for a long time...and then when people started playing them again, it was dubbed as Anti-church...yada yada...

Hogwash all...as all religious myths have to be...

12:48 AM  
Blogger Shankari said...

we got keys to our house today, lets see what happens...)

12:49 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

lol. couldnt decide if some of these were more scary or more funny!

2:11 AM  
Blogger erebus said...

somthing like this happened in australia last year... the government suddenly realised that this country has a sinking population. So.. in an effort to encourage young people to "get it on" the government announced in their February budget the introduction the "baby bonus"... $3000 cash awarded to the parents of any child born after or on April 1 2005. And that caused chaos. Pretty much what you have described here. Women going to any lengths, to hold their babies in for an extra day or two to get the bonus. It's a fact. More babies were born in the week following April 1, than any other week of any other year...

2:24 AM  
Blogger Prerona said...

lol. couldnt decide if some of these were more scary or more funny!

2:36 AM  
Blogger Ron said...

Ahahahahhaahahahhahahahhahaaaaa...
and to think I didnt even remember the significance of the date. Am ashamed of myself :D

8:13 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ karmic_jay thanks for stopping by. And yes I went to see the doctor yesterday (haven't been feeling well lately) and I'm having a serology done today. But thanks!
@ kausum well your check will go straight to hell now!
@ jinguchakka :))
@ r.i.m. yes I did!
@ brown magic it is hilarious....truly.
@ seashells eh?
@ r.i.m. isn't that why I said "unreal"? Aw...come on now!
@ kele panchu lol....did you know Pat robertson hails from virginia too? Well may be he will use his powers to keep these babies from being born!
@ grafxgurl well anything to instill fear in the hearts of "sinners".
@ r.i.m. "religious myths" just love that term :) And didn't know the story behind the fifth chord.
@ shankari lol....well now you have to get a few hogs to stand guard near your new house. Congrats on your home, BTW!
@ prero me too :) Incredible I'd say.
@ erebus the heights some people will go to...really! I heard there's a similar program in Canada along with a one year maternity leave!
@ ron shotyi tumi na! You didn't miss out on anything trust me.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Kausum said...

Ended the day yesterday to see 'The Omen' and finished it listening NIB - Black Sabbath. What an end to the day.

11:57 AM  

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