Wednesday, July 26, 2006

To err is human

Me, I'm not a very forgiving person. Nor do I forget easy. I trust people blindly. And when they destroy my faith I just shut them off from my life.

Take MC for example. We were best friends through college. I still own a treasure chest of memories from those days. Memories that warm my heart when I revisit them in my mind. Yet MC and I drifted apart. Because she hurt me. In more ways than one. And I realized that she never really was my friend. She had just used me for all those years.

So I dropped her. From my life.

And even though she has tried so many times to make things right, I just can't trust her again.

Sigh! Looks like I'll never attain divine status.



Blogger Dadoji said...

Trusting others with eyes open is preferable to giving others a chance with open eyes. Freaky but that is what usually happens.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Prerona said...

hmm. that is one 'failing' i can identify with ... i dont know. maybe being vulnerable and trusting so wholly - u need to be that much more careful to not seal leaks once discovered?

3:15 PM  
Blogger Cacophoenix said...

Trust is a heavy word, as heavy as we wish it to be. Perhaps divinity is not measured by who you forgive, but rather by how you move away from that time carrying the good memories. In my little world that's how things are measured and I always think I can bribe God to place me on the divine stool by giving him a pot of my pal payas;-)

4:32 PM  
Blogger jhantu said...

sudden introspection??

7:26 PM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster said...

Sigh! Looks like I'll never attain divine status.


I'll save a seat for you in hell. God knows, I do need company.


8:13 PM  
Blogger Skullsalad said...

I have that paragraph in your 'about me' section as my caller tune.. Its my favourite piece from waking life : )

4:11 AM  
Blogger Skullsalad said...

oops! wrong blog!! I have 12 windows open .

4:14 AM  
Blogger Ekta said...

I am soo like u in these aspects...although i can forgive but I cant forget.....I find it very difficult to restore my faith in the person!...

5:13 AM  
Anonymous Grafx said...

well thats how youre supposed to trust...always wear your heart on your sleeve...its not worth becoming a hard heart..

ive had that experience just becomes too "real" to forget and go back to being friends...some people are better off as rewound strangers so that things dont go wrong again.

6:05 AM  
Blogger Dadoji said...

> Trusting others with eyes open is preferable to giving others a chance with open eyes. Freaky but that is what usually happens.

Err, I meant Trusting others with eyes closed is preferred to giving others a chance with open eyes. Freaky but that is what usually happens. Sorry about the typo.

6:12 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ dadoji I got that but thanks for clarifying. The thing about trusting people is that for the most part you end up getting hurt. And that comes from having unrealistic expectations. And it leaves you so drained and exhausted that the next time you think it is not worth the effort. But yet end up going in with your eyes closed.
@ prerona once bitten twice shy. How can you get close to someone who doesn't give a damn about the way you feel?
@cacophoenix well may be divinity is over rated and hyped. You walk away with the good memories but the bad ones leave such a bitter taste in your mouth. It is hard to get over it.
@ jhantu there's nothing sudden about introspection. I was hurt by someone else recently thanks to my own expectations and decided to shut that person out of my life. That made me remember this other incident. Something that hurt even more.
@ megha thanks sweetheart! I'll keep an eye out for you :))
@ skullsalad huh? ooops! i totally understand :)
@ ekta would be really stupid to go back and trust that person, right?
@ grafxgurl the problem is one never learns from mistakes. The next time you meet someone you still have those goddamn expectations and go in all trusting. And when you see it fall apart, you end up being miserable. And you have no one to blame but yourself.

8:31 AM  
Blogger karmic_jay said...

I can forgive but not forget. But I have had several experiences liek you.
Maybe that is why I don't really trust anyone that easily.

As for divinity.. it's so banal too isn't it? I would rather be human..

9:44 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar said...

To err is humane, to forgive humane :)

9:49 AM  
Blogger Truth Fairy said...

I had a similar rift with my best friend from high school. We still write to each other once in a while, but that closeness is long gone! I think the more closer you are to a person, the more difficult it is to forget.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Tabula Rasa said...

sometimes it's good to let the other person be divine :-)

12:08 PM  
Blogger GhostOfTomJoad said...

Don't be so hard on yourself about this. Breach of trust does cut deep.

2:57 PM  
Anonymous KK said...

Question: Have you been able to make a friend like her after the incident whom you trust completely?

3:29 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ karmic_jay may be it is better to strive for something that makes more sense: being human. I wrote something along those lines a few months back. You can read it here
@ rohan well then I'm not very humane, am I?
@ truth fairy well the closer you are to a person the greater the expectations, right? And greater the hurt and disappointment.
@ tabula rasa well I've given up trying a long time back :)
@ ghostoftomjoad the thing is I remembered this incident in the wake of something similar more recently. And made me wonder how I do it everytime. Get into a situation and end up getting hurt. And I know it will happen yet again. Except i'll make sure it will not be the same person hurting me.
@ kk yes I have. And I give myself wholly, with complete faith. And also the disappointment has happened too. Doesn't look like I'm a good judge of character.

3:44 PM  
Anonymous KK said...

I was asking more from the point of view of "once bitten Twice Shy". I believe, trusting someone before they give a reason to be lose trust is better than be suspicious. It is no way a judgement.

4:10 PM  
Blogger Jinguchakka said...

Maybe it'd help trying to understand why anyone did what they did. Many a time, when a person does what seems unbelievable, getting his/her perspective on that changes the whole thing around.
I do forgive such persons, but never forget what was done.

7:32 PM  
Blogger Anand said...

i seem to be the different variety here!
Am easy with forgiving and forgetting coz I believe that every person deserves a second chance!

10:48 PM  
Blogger erebus said...

i think girls are just generally more unforgiving than guys...

12:16 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ kk okay twice shy wrt whoever broke your trsut. But when it comes to meeting new people, it is back to trusting and believing. After all everyone is trustworthy until they prove your wrong.
@ jinguchakka sometimes it is hard to guess why someone would do something. In the case of MC she was a little jealous. She felt she should have done better in exams than me, gotten ahead in life. She always thought that I got things done because I knew more people in the business and had an advantage over her. So she started badmouthing me and spreading lies. Which totally pissed me off.
Also there are people who are mentally unstable, suffer from deep seated complexes who act weird because their thinking is all warped. And even if yo u genuinely care about them and try to help they can't help but act weird.
@ anand good for you. But don't you think someone who has broken your trust must have some deeper complex or reason which might make them do it again. After all if you know you can get away with it....
@ erebus may be because they take things more personally, they hurt more. Good to see you back!

9:03 AM  
Blogger Jinguchakka said...

hmm...the world's a strange place.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar said...

No ways, and if so I am sure the world cud do well to be as imhumane as you

1:20 PM  
Blogger Shankari said...

Hi, How r u? I tend to forgive people, but I feel that we should not forget what they did to us, because we should not fall in the same trap again.
Have had similar experiences in te past...

1:27 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ jinguchakka it truly is :)
@ rohan *blushing* now you are being too kind. But thanks for being so sweet!
@ shankari hey nice seeing you after a long time. Hope you've been well.

3:58 PM  
Blogger sapna said...

i can relate to this. i have had trouble forgiving only once when the person hurt me real bad. tho i like to think ive forgiven, sometimes i wonder if i have :) i think its fine to be human, its a world where most people are not even that!

6:02 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ pearl "its fine to be human, its a world where most people are not even that!" beautifully said. Thanks!

8:16 AM  
Blogger White Magpie said...

Umm..give one punch across the face and you forgive the person instantly..Try it sometime. It works and friendships get stronger ;) Not always tho hehe

11:13 AM  
Blogger White Magpie said...

Umm..give one punch across the face and you forgive the person instantly..Try it sometime. It works and friendships get stronger ;) Not always tho hehe

11:14 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ white magpie haven't tried it ever :))

12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe divinity is overrated :)

7:12 PM  
Blogger Ashmi said...

what do you mean by divine status? forget being divine....those are words of the past, no more believed by ppl anymore, who say they do are all lying.....i tend to b lil diffrnt from you coz i can prhaps forgive bt not forget...but hw good is tht? not forgetting shows i'm realy not as forgivin a soul as i wud like to believ....prhaps situaition helps me to succumb to the situation and thnk i hv forgiven:)

7:10 AM  

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