Thursday, November 17, 2005

Please let me be wrong

They say something about a woman’s intuition…. sixth sense…. hunch. It is uncanny but true. This time I am hoping that I am wrong.

Remember Joe, the security guard that I was talking about the other day? The one that says nice things and tries to cheer everyone up? Well I am getting a really funny feel about this whole nice guy business. Okay so it starts out with Joe checking my bag every morning (security reasons) and saying things like “how are you doing this morning” and “have a wonderful day”. Which was great. A few weeks later he is saying things like “honey you have a million dollar smile” and “I like looking at that pretty face of yours”. The context you ask me? It’s just that I had found a different way of getting into our building without going through the security check at the front desk each morning. Which means I don’t run into Joe everyday. Then one day I go round the front because I took a bus that dropped me off right in front of the building and I run into Joe. He asks me where I have been and why he hasn’t seen me lately. So I tell him that I go round the back because it’s just easier. And he tells me that would mean he would never get to see me again and that I should come by and show him my “pretty face”.

Okay at this point I’m thinking that he is just being extra nice and mildly joking. So I say that I will and go my way. Of course I did not take it seriously and keep sneaking in through the back every morning. Then last week I was leaving the building in the evening to go home when I hear someone honking from the distance. I turned to look because the street we are on is very quiet otherwise. And there I see Joe waving at me from the distance trying to get my attention. So I wave back and keep on walking my way. Then I hear him run after me and I stop. A little curious I turn to see what he wanted. Apparently nothing. He just enquired how I was doing and why I don’t come round the front. And then he says, “promise you’ll come through the front and see me everyday”. Now I’m beginning to think this was a really weird conversation and say something to him and start walking off. Okay by that time I am rationalizing with myself that I am just screwed up to think that Joe was being anything but his friendly self. But somehow I was not getting good vibes from my inner self.

Then this morning I had to step outside my building to use my cell phone (the dratted thing refuses to work inside the building) and just as I was about to return to the warmth of my desk I meet Joe again. After last week’s encounter I had purposefully kept away from the front entrance and was a little taken aback to run into him again. He comes up to me smiling and says, “I’ve been looking all over for you. Where’ve you been?” and hands me a little folded sheet of paper. I asked him what it was, all the while pretending to be entirely at ease and like it was the most natural thing in the world to be handed a note by someone you barely know. He says, “It’s a surprise I’ve been carrying with me to give you”. I open the note and in neat handwriting is his full name and a telephone number. “It’s my cell phone number so that you can call me anytime you want.” I go, “Oh…” as in extreme surprise and after a pause say thank you and run off.

By this time I’m hearing alarm bells going off inside my head. Is Joe just being friendly or a little too friendly for comfort? Why on earth would I need his cell phone number and why in God’s green earth would I need to call him? All I’ve ever done is smile and said thank you every time he has said something nice to me. He could be my grandfather for crying out loud. Okay…may be not that old, but older than my own Dad. And it’s not even that I am the available kind, if you know what I mean. So what is going on here? I call B and tell him what just happened and he laughed it off saying I was wrong and reading too much into things. Well, may be I am. And I sure hope so that I am. Because in this case I would want to be mistaken. But there have been other incidents over the years….., like when I was sixteen and a friend of my Dad tried to take advantage by touching me and trying to kiss me (on the lips if you still have any doubts) and all along I had these intuitions about this guy being weird. Or when my best friends boy friend got fresh with me. Or when….and every time I’ve tried to rationalize that it was me who had the sick mind who reads too much into things. And every time my intuition has been right. So call me crazy for being paranoid. But this is one time I am praying that I am wrong.

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28 Comments:

Blogger Prerona said...

better safe, albeit sick, than sorry. i'm too tired of giving it a chance. with a guy, ur intuition tells u it smells a fish, i think there must be something fishy. guilty until proven innocent :)

7:40 PM  
Blogger sinusoidally said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:49 PM  
Blogger sinusoidally said...

Okay let me tell you sweetie, EVERYTHING is wrong with this situation and this guy. I can bet you that in his work contract there exists a clause that forbids him to have anything but a professional relationship with people who work in the company. He should not have given you his phone number. You should have snapped at him right away and told him that you are married and that it is inappropriate even if you were not. He is not giving you his phone number just to have a friendly conversation. And even if he was, why should he do that, you are not his freind. You just see him at work. That's all. You know better than that!

M, report his behavior as well as the paper with his cell number to his boss in the security office and I will not be surprised at all if he does not show up to work next week for good. If I were you I would not even think that this was an intuition. It is so blatantly obvious it is yelling itself out. Good luck and stop smiling at him for crying out loud!

8:06 PM  
Blogger Ashmi said...

Hey,the intuition stuff is so true about girls.I too have it and it too didn't prove to be wrong at any time.Yes you'll find all sort of weird guys all around trying to take you for a ride.I'm working and had an unpleasant experience twice.It made me feel so sick!anyways chill girl and stay away from those men about whom you have this kind of intuitioon.i'm sure you won't be wrong:-)

8:37 PM  
Blogger Ashmi said...

hey this intuition stuff is so true about girls.i have it too and it has never proved to be wrong at any time.i work in an it company and twice i had men try my patience out.it infact made me feel so sick!thanks to what some people call attitude issue that saved me from what could have happened.anyways just chill and don't give up believing your intuition:-)

8:42 PM  
Blogger Kumari said...

There is nothing wrong with a girl's intuition. I have been proved right in more places than i would have liked. So trust yourself and stay away.

Take care. * Hugs*

8:56 PM  
Blogger Casablanca said...

Hey this isnt even confusing... this is down right irritating! Just stop being friendly to him, and ask him to buzz off if he acts too smart. Zimple!

1:30 AM  
Blogger Ratna said...

Trust your intuitions. If you don't want to be rude in saying buzz off! Try bringing your husband in the conversations. He will back off.

Like " I tell my husband how nice you are to everyone and he said, we should have someone like that in their bldg.."

2:03 AM  
Blogger Krishanu said...

always beware of someone who is too nice. ulterior motive or not, u just dont know the guy at all. if i were u i would tell him to buzz off. be careful...and stick to your intuition...

2:15 AM  
Blogger Krishanu said...

always beware of someone who is too nice. ulterior motive or not, u just dont know the guy at all. if i were u i would tell him to buzz off. be careful...and stick to your intuition...

2:16 AM  
Blogger Parna said...

listen to your instincts. they are usually bang on.

3:28 AM  
Blogger Ron said...

Hi. 1st time commenting here, althouigh definitely not 1st visit. I tend to agree with everone else who has commented already. Trust your instincts. Definitely weird stuff happening here. Report the man. Right away.

4:37 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

I feel a lot relieved after reading the comments and advise. I was beating myself up about being the one with the sick mind here. I guess the problem with me and a lot of other people is that they find it hard to be outright rude to someone even if the situation demands it. I don't think I'll ever be the warring feminist that I wish I was. No wonder I've always landed in sticky situations with men because I did not know how to say "no I don't want to talk to you because I believe you are line marofying and will ultimately profess your love to me which by the way I do not reciprocate and we will end up not speaking with each other anyways". I find it hard. I although I agree with you Sines and Ron about reporting the guy, I still feel weird about making this an issue at work. I guess now that I know for a fact that this is someone I would like to avoid I just stop being civil (no smiling anymore Sines) and if he still tries to be "friendly" flash him my wedding band (thanks Ratna) and pray that he gets the message. What I hate is the way he made me feel about myself.

9:20 AM  
Blogger satchisgod said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:43 AM  
Blogger satchisgod said...

Arrey na na, I'm way too capricious to be taken too seriously...
And on the current incident, well, you know, life is weird. Like you said, hopefully you are wrong.

4:28 PM  
Blogger satchisgod said...

Oh, just one thing...what's with this "woman's intuition". Cut the crap...everyone "understands" some basic things.
Reminds me of watching "Oronyer din raatri"...I knew damn well that Aparna's boudi(who's the widow) would almost certainly land up being interested in Shubhendu...I mean, I'm not trying to judge anyone...but what's so feminine in "realising" that someone's interested in you? But yes, men and women do deal with these things differently...
see, I speak too much:)

4:51 PM  
Blogger m. said...

erm. im glad so many people have already said it: i just read this and have to say it to: listen to your gut feel!!
please be safe: its any day better that you lost one potential friend whose integrity you were doubtful about than risk your mental or physical health - you owe nobody in the world that deal.
i think it would be a very sensible move to tell your supervisor or joes boss that youd like a little less attention. let him get the message loud and clear that youre no fool.
take care m.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Dreamcatcher said...

I really dont think you're reading too much into things. Someone going out of his way to be sugary sweet to me would creep me out. My friend's father used to be sacharine sweet to me, always putting his arm around me and hugging me unnecesarily (i was 7) it used to spook me out, make me queasy and i stopped going there.
it might be innocent, but why would you want to take a risk, just stay away and take care:)

1:14 AM  
Blogger Sagnik Nandy said...

ratna said it best - any guy with the slightest amount of self respect will definitely back off (or be extra cautious) the moment you bring the husband into the conversation - all the best

3:19 AM  
Blogger jaded said...

hey, this is really weird.
Just start being a bit more formal with him, i guess.dont smile or anything. these psychos are to be found everywhere.

i believe you get a certain feeling of trust/distrust with everyone & usually my sixth sense is correct, so i guess woman's intuition does work.but i sure hope, this is one time it didnt.take care

10:34 AM  
Blogger Rimi said...

i'm crowding the space here with all the stuff people already told you, but STANDARD procedure in such circumstances is to bring the husband around in person sometime, and speak of him often.

and i have jeebies when it comes to reporting stuff because:
a. i'd feel guilty if he lost his job (i can see this guy's a creep, but still...)

b. i'll worry about his getting back to me somehow. and things get ugly pretty easily these days.

so, let us know what you did in the end, m. we're worried.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar said...

Yup I agree with most ppl here, guess its time to back ur intuition and go the distance and be rude to such ppl

5:59 PM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

hmm well some people are just plain crazy...and some people are purposefully even more so....

im guessing maybe this dude is just a little nutty but harmless.. i encountered a few of them when i was in Canada... at first i was really wary, but you know what.. sometimes theyre just being "extra friendly" and nothing else...so just go do your thing and show your pretty face to him every morning if need be.. thats all..if it makes his day....oh and make sure you scratch your nose while your in front of him or something... so he sees your ring.

4:23 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

oops sorry i didnt read what everyone else said... lol..

4:24 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

sorry everyone for being a tad slow on the response....but thanks for all the comments.
@biplab since you did leave your comment long enough for me to read it I guess it does warrant a reply :) I said that intuition by and large was a quality in women because I think men, and I generalize a great deal here, are a little thick when it comes to certain things. Like last week we met a couple who were living together and both me and my friend (female) realized that right away, yet both my husband and my friend's husband failed to understand, even after finding out they share the apt and saw her personal garments lying on his bed. Duh!!! But you may be the discerning kind with a certain degree of intuition and I apologize in that case.
Thanks everyone for agreeing mostly with me on the intentions of this guy being a little questionable. I have so far managed to avoid running into him by taking the backdoor into the building. And have so far not approached anyone else with the matter for many reasons some of which rimi mentions. Also partly because I don't want to blow this silly matter out of proportion. But i'm holding onto the little note with Joe's phone number on it. And I'm going to use that as proof if things do start becoming uncomfortable.
And as far as knowing my marital status I just realized he should be well aware of it because I take off my "loha" (a bracelet which has iron in it) every morning during security to stop the metal detector from going off and I believe he had said something about it being beautiful and I had told him it was something I wear because I was married. So there....that says a good deal about his moral integrity and that the husband factor is not sufficient to get him to back off.
So I guess I'm just going to avoid him and if he persists then consider going to someone else.
@ grafxgurl I would indulge this guy if it were just showing him my face. But I don't think that is all he is interested in and that makes me feel really weird.
Thanks everyone for all your concern and I'll keep you posted if anything else happens.

9:13 AM  
Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said...

You need further confirmation that this guy is hitting on you? Naivete!

Why should it make you feel bad about YOURself, fer Pete sake? HE'S doing the hitting.

My 88 paisa worth (progressive steps) -
1 - ask him WHY you would want his cell number
2 - tell him he's overstepping some lines
3 - report him to the boss

J.A.P.

11:45 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

Your "88 paisa worth" well received JAP and thanks. That was exactly what I was planning if I happened to run into this guy again.
Topic closed unless provoked by any untoward incident which I am praying will not happen.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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2:56 PM  

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