Thursday, July 28, 2005

Oh to be twenty again

Do you remember the time when you heard someone talk about a 20 year old and used to think that being 20 was like the end of the world (or a lifetime)? I distinctly remember myself believing that a person who had reached 20 was ancient, prehistoric, OLD. I'm never going to be 2o, I thought. I am going to live my life to the fullest so that when I do turn 20 I will be able to look back and smile and end my days (or something to that effect). For me living was for the moment, for my teenaged years.

And looking back now, I wonder how the hell did I fixate on 20, when 20 is just the beginining? What I would do to be 20 again!! Compared to now 20 seems like paradise. Paradise lost I mean. It was wonderful to be that young without a care in the world. I was out of school having fun in college, had loads of friends, my only damn responsibility in life was making sure I passed the exams, could go out every evening, could do as I please, not a care about rent or bills or groceries, had enough guys expressing an interest in me to satisfy my ego, could flirt and get away with it and feel young and beautiful and desired.

And now I wake up each morning and look hard in the mirror to check if I am getting lines on my forehead? Hmm may be I need to get that firming lotion or that under eye cream for the dark circles. I need to run for 45 minutes (and then pant for another hour) to get the fat from creeping up my hips. I have to make sure I pay the rent, pay the bills, have food in the refrigerator, wash the clothes (and iron them too), get my job done straight, along with getting straight A's in school (yep that still remains). Then when I go out in the evening I have to spend like an hour dressing up to make sure no one can see the lines or the dark circles under the eyes. And after all that I look wistfully at my hubby hoping to get the same kind of compliment that I was used to from my college days but he is busy looking up something esoteric on the internet. So I go up to him and pointedly ask him "sweetie how do I look?". I can see all you guys grimacing. This isn't that unfamiliar territory and I'm sure so many of you have actually been in situations like that. But now you know where the question is coming from. It is just that desperate struggle to feel reassured that yes you still look beautiful and young and desirable! And my better half knows the routine by heart and will mumble something like "you look great" and I know right away that nope it ain't working honey. You are not 20 anymore!

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13 Comments:

Blogger Lancelot said...

hi came here from rimi's blog...hmm...hope it aint that way for guys, coz if it is, i am going to feel it in some 5 years :D can't be all that bad tho, can it??

1:50 PM  
Blogger Rohan Kumar said...

Just been thru ur entire list of entries on ur blog and if that is any indication U R Beautiful, u dont need a nod from ur Hubby to reaffirm that. And as some wiseguy said 30 is the new 20 (or watever u want it to be :-) )

2:00 PM  
Blogger Sagnik Nandy said...

agree with rohan - 30 is the new 20 or so i will strongly say coz i have crossed 25 :) very nice post!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Ratna said...

Cha! You reminded me that I am in 30s again :( What the heck! I feel like, 24 is stuck in my head:) Good one, keep them coming.

2:47 PM  
Blogger sinusoidally said...

Can I just say that 20 + something just sneaked up on me from nowhere...life's going so fast!

2:59 PM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ Lancelot'stake thanks for visiting and trust me time just flies and before you know it you've whizzed through ur young carefree days.

@ rohan kumar THANK U!!! You made my day :))) Keep coming.

@ sagnik my recent worry is that there used to be this ad on TV by Jeetendra called 30 plus that would make me laugh. Will I be needing all those supplements and God knows what in a few years? :)

@ ratna after all age is in ur mind, right?

@sn you said it! I just can't keep up with time anymore.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Kumari said...

If there is something that strikes a huge Gong in my head it is the "... but he is busy looking up something esoteric on the internet." line -- I hate it when he does that and i am still in the 20s. Damn! Now i refuse to grow up :)

Nice post:)

3:49 PM  
Blogger Acroyali said...

hey i felt the same way as i turned 21. something like "i'm already on the wrong side of the twenties!! i'm already losing my youth!!" but now of late i've managed to knock some sense into this 21 year old head of mine, and realize theres a loong loong way to go. and now i'm convinced i'll NEVER feel old...:D

3:59 PM  
Blogger m. said...

lol.. come on! growing old aint such a menace! ... im itching for the time when i can proudly wear a head of salt and pepper or (dare i hope!) pure white hair :D

4:24 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:14 AM  
Blogger Grafxgurl said...

sigh.. well im going through the exact same thing ...good thing you worded it like that.. if it was me it would apear as a volcanic outburst on my blog..lol.. a lot of tantrum throwing and me walking around with an eraser trying to protect my head from lines ...*hugs*..

5:16 AM  
Blogger M (tread softly upon) said...

@ kumari lol. Thanks.

@ acroyali you are as old as you feel. So cheer up!

@ m turning old and grey is not bad at all. I just don't like the metamorphosis process.

@ grafxgurl you're beautiful and you can stay that way on the inside forever (with or without erasers)

8:46 AM  
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5:59 AM  

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