They say everything in this world is cyclical. What goes up must
come down. And vice versa. Gloom, misery and depression cannot last forever either. And I'd be lying if I said that I was not happy. I apologize to everyone who's been here on my blog enquiring after me and how things were with me. I know I haven't been very communicative lately. And I never got around to answering any of the questions that were posed. Do forgive my silence and moodiness. Hopefully someday I may be able to come face to face with my emotions and be able to talk about it. Hopefully
For those of you who expressed delight at my being "back
": I was never away. Just spaced out. And trying to find some answers. And I appreciate all the good wishes since my last post, including this mention
As far as whether my temporary hiatus had any effect: well
, no. I did not achieve what I had hoped for. I never realized the dream that I was trying to reach out for. Am I disappointed? Of course
I am. Am I giving up on my dream? Hell, no
. I'm stubborn and I have faith. And I am going to keep on trying. And like I said before, I'll at the least
end up landing in the stars
. And I will know. I tried my hardest. And I'll learn to accept that. May be
They say human beings have an uncanny ability of dealing with most every situation. All they need is to know what is happening. It is the uncertainty of a situation which is the hardest to deal with.
Right now, I am happy. Can't help it. My parents are here. I'm meeting my Dad
after 4 years. Can you believe that
? 4 really long years. And my Mom says you can actually see the effect this is having on him. Overnight he seems to have lost some ten years, discovered some secret source of youth and energy. He's happy. And content. Overjoyed at seeing me. And glad to be able to spend this time with us.
So now I can look forward to warm home cooked meals waiting on the table when I get home from work. Am I glad my Mom is here! I demand and expect. Without hesitation. Just pretending to be a child again. Knowing that this safe haven is not going to last when they go back home. When I will have to grow up and be responsible again. For decisions, for meals, for keeping house, for myself, for my family.
But until then
.....I can take refuge and be ten years old.